Paris Escar'got Me. Part 1.

Paris is a world all of its own and I felt like the city was there just waiting for me. Just call me Ernest Heming... I mean Yves Saint Laur... I mean Brigitte Bard... Ah, forget it, I'm just another Emily in Paris, at best but with less colorful outfits and no luck in love. I did however stumble across Helen Mirren having a spot of tea at the famous Cafe Flore... Ok, maybe it was just another attractive 'perennial' beauty but it really did look like the 77 year old Oscar winner (I'm still telling myself it was her.).

Funny enough, Paris was never really on my bucket list but now it is definitely on my must return list, possibly again and again (& again...). I truly fell in love with the vibe of the city. For years now many people have said to me they always found Paris dirty and unfriendly: Um, what!? Where were you? This was not at all my take-away. It is a city rich with culture, beauty, extravagance, art, history, culinary treasure and pride... so much so that I stayed longer than intended. I originally planned on going from Paris to Milan and then onward to Sicily and finish off my travels in Budapest; but I just couldn't bring myself to leave Paris so I ended up scrapping Milan and staying in the city of light a few days more.

When I arrived in Paris the weather was just a little grey and the drive from the airport didn't give me much to look at as I ventured to my interesting AirBNB in the 3rd arrondissement. Tucked away in the back of a hotel were all these little capsule-like "apartments" where I had booked to stay while in the city. I opened the door to my AirBNB and boom! That's it, there was the tour... I'm totally cool with tiny spaces but I mean this was tinnnyyyyyyy. A very narrow seated couch with a clunky murphy bed tucked behind it, a window looking into the hotel rooms across and a bathroom that doubled as a "kitchen"/closet/everything else. In my everyday life I generally wouldn't be described as chill but when travelling it's as if I take on a new persona and it's the chill travel guy... If only that could translate into every day life. I originally took it in stride and just kept in mind that it was just a place to sleep. My friend Judith warned me it sounded too good of a price to be fully worth it, but we'll get to that.

Anyhow, after dropping my things off and resting for a few minutes after flying all night it was time to explore the area and take care of a few travel duties. I immediately turned the corner from my hotel and there I was faced with alluring historic buildings with floral facades for spring... I was immediately stunned by the beauty. I had no direction in mind, I just walked... right into a tobacco shop; European Adam smokes. I found a typical french cafe, ordered crepes and a double espresso, cracked open the cigarettes and began people watching while sipping the hot, dark brown, caffeinated fuel I so desperately needed. I quickly realized I was being watched by tourists going by... did I look like I belonged? In my head I did, just call me Simone de Beauvoir.

I clambered to google translate while cross referencing a couple search engines because I didn't want to be mistaken for a rude tourist (not yet anyway, that part is still to come...), so that I knew how to properly ask for the bill. One finger in the air while making eye contact with the server was the way I read to get their attention. "Excusez-moi, l'addition s'il vous plait"... He smiled back and brought it right over to me. *I did it! I'm like a cool parisien now! *delusional*. When I was paying he spoke directly to me in english... dammit, he caught on... I'm not a cool french guy.

I walked around for a little while longer until I came across this small looking church with a set of staging/stairs looking at the face of it... what was everyone looking at so intently? There's just a bunch of storyboards around this thing. Notre-Dame... I was looking at what stands today of the iconic Notre-Dame. Clueless (& jet lagged). I'm apparently ignorant as hell because I just assumed it was fully rebuilt and that I would see this monstrous Catholic church in my travels but with it only being partially reconstructed it appeared so little ( only compared to the vision in my head). Someday I'll get back when it's fully erected and live out my Esmeralda fantasy because what little gay boy didn't dream of being an animated Disney character?

Anyhow, I won't bore anyone with the monotonous duties I took care of like shopping for a flat iron and setting up my European sim card but what I will say is, it is very easy to lose track of time in Paris. I had tickets to the Louvre for 4pm, they closed at 6pm and it was currently 3:40pm (if I were properly European I would have said 16:00, 18:00 & 15:40... but alas, I'm further proving my uncoolness). I found a nearby cab and demanded he take me to the Louvre, yes, I said demanded. What an asshole I turned out to be. He thought about it while driving about 3 metres and then pulled over and screamed at me to get the hell out. Yup, I did it now, I pulled a rude tourist move... I should have started with bonjour and maybe threw in a s'il vous plait. What a prick I was. Hanging my head in shame as I exited the car, I mapped out my path to the louvre... and I ran... like hell... I'm not a runner. If you don't know me I am a bit of a husky guy but I prefer to say 'thique' because people get butt hurt when you say fat haha. Not a runner. I did it though, I made it to the Louvre at about 4:25 (ugh, I mean 16:25).

They say it would take about sixty-five days to see everything in the Louvre if you spent one minute looking at each piece. I thankfully knew not to plan to see too much and just know to come back again (& again & again) in the future. I raced up several staircases to get to the Mona Lisa. Yes, I'm basic, the most basic if you will. It's the one piece in the museum you have to enter essentially a corral and wait your turn patiently. After about 25 minutes of waiting patiently, I made it to the front... I truly felt that movie magic moment where the sounds around me dulled completely and I felt like I was alone with one of the most famous paintings in the world. I knew I wasn't but for about 10 seconds I lived that way. I then just decided to take my time and saunter through one of the sculpture galleries on my way out. The Louvre is a magical place, I'll know how to plan better next time.

I wish I could tell you I had some sort of magical dinner that first night but I found a local grocery store on my walk home and picked up bananas, apples, raisins and nuts; I was going back to my AirBNB to crash out of exhaustion, I would do better tomorrow I told myself.

Day 2

Have you ever tried to sleep on a weight bench? That's essentially what I slept on, a couch which resembled a train seat. I had to sleep with all my clothes on and not touch the bedding because once I pulled the murphy bed down from the wall I was taken aback by the overwhelming artificial smell of fabric refresher: the bedding wasn't washed. Anyhow, I knew I made a mistake by booking the cheapest AirBNB in central Paris but it was just a place to keep my stuff and try and sleep. I just had to not think about it, for now.

I'll take a shower and that'll make me feel better! Nope. I grabbed a towel and was hit in the face with that moldy smell, you know, the one you smell in any cis-gendered straight 20-something guys apartment?... They weren't well washed. Fuck it, I'm going to "wash" myself with the baby wipes I keep in my luggage for emergency sake. I searched high and low and even did some mild contortion acts to be sure there were not sights of bed bugs, thankfully not.

Au Chien Qui Fume, what a beautiful restaurant. Spring in Paris, so of course it was adorned with stunning pink and purple flowers all over the facade. I grabbed a seat and had a delightful brunch right there in the picturesque Les Halles area. Cigarettes, double espresso and croques-madames, picture-perfect Paris brunch.

I truly focused on not using my phone too much on this trip and kept signed out of social media as a general rule while out and about, I most definitely wasn't scrolling/reading posts. I turned all social messaging off (I despise social media messages, I prefer to communicate by phone, text, email or whatsapp... just as a side note). It was nice to sit and just watch the people around me, the action in the street, listen to the sounds of the area and fully be in the moment.

I fell madly in love with an area called Saint-Germain-des-Pres. This was where my activity of the day was starting off. I met the wonderful Australian expat tour guide, Johann, right at the Saint-Germain-des-Pres metro stop along with some other travelers. The last one to arrive for the 40-stop walking tour was who turned out to be my new friend, Evelyn. She was visiting from Canada as well and we became fast friends.

If you're ever visiting Paris, I would have to recommend this incredible walking tour. Johann (along with his fiance and business partner, Claire) really gives a super informative, fun and engaging tour of some highlights of Paris. History, culture, life and landmarks, I loved it. Johann and Claire have been living in Paris for ten years and truly embrace everything about life in the city so it is wonderful to have their local perspective as well as from a travellers eye. This tour takes you through the charming neighbourhoods of Paris to take in the classic monuments and hidden gems. Included in this tour are 40 gems of Paris, including must-see monuments like the Arc de Triumphe, Notre Dame, Pantheon & more. It was truly one of the best tours I have taken in all my years of travelling because it felt so personal and engaging.

As we finished up the tour, our group took a metro to some station called "Trocadero"... but why was it the busiest metro station I had seen up to this point in Paris? Johann guided us across the street to this statue of a man riding a horse and he began to tell us the history of it. He had such a captivating way about him so of course we listened with eager ears until he finally looked at us all and stopped talking: "I'm just kidding, turn around". There, for the first time, I saw the Eiffel Tower. Something overwhelming came over me, not like an anxious overwhelming, just like I was seeing something so monumentous that I couldn't help but react with tears. I thought I was hiding it well behind my ray-bans but I forgot that although I am botoxed to the high heavens, my lower face still moves and my whole mouth was quivering. Johann and some fellow travellers with us gave me a big hug. Whenever I see a famous landmark I always think of those who stood in my steps throughout history seeing it from the same lens in which I was standing. That is one of those memories you don't soon forget.

After exploring the Eiffel Tower closer with Evelyn (Vancouver, British Columbia), Julia (Cologne, Germany) & Marco (Cologne, Germany) we sent off our congenial German friends and decided to go grab dinner. Evelyn and I decided to go to the famous Le Relais de l'Entrecote in Montparnasse (this is the original location)! This restaurant serves just one option for your entree: Steak & Fries. You can not make a reservation, you wait patiently in line with everyone else. We waited about 45-50mins in line but didn't really mind because we were surrounded by magificient views all around. Waitresses dressed in black dresses with white collars, very reminiscient of what you'd imagine would be the dress of a female server in 1940's Paris. Old world charm. The meal was so simple, the service so fast, efficient and friendly, the dessert delectable and an experience I was glad to have had. Getting to know Evelyn was also a great perk of the dinner. I always enjoy befriending like-minded travellers along my journeys.

Stay tuned for much, much more...